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"Your life is not a problem to be solved but a gift to be opened." ~ Wayne Muller

How Writing Your Story Can Help You Forgive

Forgiveness

We had just been listening to a newscast when the topic of forgiveness came up. The story was one of those that that has your heart aching with sympathy for the bereaved parent. A story about a murdered teenager, used and left with no regard for the value of her life.

For those who knew her it wasn’t just another story; it had become their story.

That’s when my friend said, “I could never forgive someone who did that to my child.”

I responded with a vague hmmm, aware of the fact that forgiveness is a megatheme within my faith—a faith she doesn’t share—and a pretty big deal when it comes to writing your story.

We didn’t go further into the discussion, although I wanted to. I wanted to talk about how living with anger and hatred towards a person can eat you alive and become an overbearing weight under which we fall and lose sight of our true selves.

And I pondered the forgiveness “debate” for a few days afterwards, asking myself whether full forgiveness is really possible in the face of great pain and loss at the hands of another human being.

For some of us, that’s our story.

And for those who haven’t suffered greatly at the hands of another, most of us know that at some point we have grappled with the act of forgiveness.

Or we may still need to.

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Write and Believe you are Worth it

Dream By Sunset Girl

My baby clung to me and I clung to her. Natural and right, that’s how it felt in those early months, that first year. But time went by and neither of us let go.

When she was two years old we hired a babysitter so I could have time to write, but my daughter did not want me to leave her. She screamed and cried and clung. I didn’t have the heart to unwrap those little arms from my neck, my waist, my legs. I could have. Plenty of parents have to, or choose to, for a variety of practical and sanity saving reasons.

I could have left her for a few hours once or twice a week. This does not seem like a lot. Yet it is. It was.

And at the time I couldn’t justify it. The math didn’t add up (I should mention that math isn’t my strong suit.) I didn’t think my writing was worth the sacrifice of leaving my daughter behind, inconsolable. I still wrote when I could, stealing a few minutes here and there. I even started a blog when she was diagnosed with celiac disease, but my creativity withered.

The truth, as I see it now, is that it wasn’t just about her. It was about me. I didn’t feel like my writing was worth it.
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Six Steps to Reel in Toxic Thinking

Pescador 1

I met Dr. Caroline Leaf —a neuroscientist with a PhD in Communication Pathology specializing in Neuropsychology—about six months ago at a women’s conference. She’s a smart lady—you might want to look her up. Her title alone had me shifting in my seat. Dr. Leaf had been invited to the conference to talk about the power of thought and [...]

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How I Wrote my Way Through the Grief of Loss

By Simon PAPE - Unsplash.jpg

“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.”  ― Anne Frank I have always enjoyed writing – college term papers and professional technical papers that described specific goals and outcomes – hand-written letters to my family or my sweetheart during long deployments at sea. Writing was functional; merely [...]

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10 Ways to Ease Depression With Only Your Pen

hand in jail

If you’ve been with me on this journey for a while you’ll know that one of my lifetime struggles has been with depression. It took a long time for me to identify with that part of my story, and then again, to admit it out loud. In fact, as I write this, I’m cringing a little. [...]

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The Mama Notebook: Gluing My Children Together Again

letter

I’d never fully understood the term “coming unglued” until I became the mother of toddlers. I saw it happen to both of my daughters in turn, how exhaustion could creep up when no one was looking and pull them apart at the seams. They would fall into wailing heaps of little girl limbs with more [...]

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