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"Your life is not a problem to be solved but a gift to be opened." ~ Wayne Muller

How Writing Makes Us Better Together

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“Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.” – William Wordsmith

Life seems to move pretty fast. Throw in an, almost, three year old boy, with one on the way, a yellow lab and all of the daily to-do’s and that leaves little time to communicate with your significant other.

Communication is the foundation to a deeply connected and rooted relationship.

When you have a family, a job, dinner, laundry, family outings, whatever it is, communication with your partner is typically the one thing that gets tossed to the side.

Two year’s ago my wife and I’s communication, which we’ve been so strong with in the past, took a beating. It began to suffer.

We were experiencing a period where stress was at an all time high for the both of us. Financial adversity was the fuel to a fire that spread throughout our entire relationship.

Instead of communicating our way through it, the majority of the time we kept it to ourselves. Even when we decided to communicate, we said just enough to one another to leave the other person chasing fictional thoughts down unnecessary rabbit holes.

And we increased the distance between us.« Continue »

Underneath the Mask

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A few months ago my counselor challenged me with this question:

“How authentic are you really being in your relationships?”

The question came on the heels of a discussion where I mentioned having been hurt in a friendship but had never addressed the issue with the friend.

My immediate thought in answer to his question was, “Of course I’m authentic.” And it matched my response: “Oh, I’m the queen of authenticity.”

His eyebrows wiggled in a questioning sort of way and alarm bells sounded in my head. I came face-to-face with my metaphorical mirror and saw a girl wearing many masks, most of which I had no clue existed.

The truth is, I am very authentic when I feel safe, loved, seen and valued. The times when I am less authentic are when I feel attacked, judged, not too smart, or—and this is a biggie—on a road towards conflict.

Conflict scares the crap out of me.« Continue »

Writing is the Healing Place and Space

I stare at her text, eyes filling with tears. “Writing is the work for you and me,” she writes. “That is the healing place and space.” I nod my head affirmatively, because she understands, she gets me. She too is a flinger of words, one who thinks and processes best through the medium of writing. […]

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7 Ways To Stay Present in the Moment

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Here’s something I really struggle with, and I think you probably do too: I can’t stay present in the moment. I try. Really I do. Last year my one word was “presence” and I definitely made some strides. But still I find myself looking behind, looking ahead or thinking about what I need to get […]

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