We all have them: those parts of our lives that claw at our hearts. Like the holes in a worn piece of fabric, we try to patch them back together. But that fabric is never quite the same.
These are the holes of our story; the wounds that keep us from moving forward, the events that tel us to self-protect. They are mired in guilt, shame, anger and unforgiveness, and sometimes we feel like we’ll never be whole again.
But those holes are also the things that strengthen us. They shape our character, deepen our compassion, open our eyes to the things that matter.
If we allow them to.
And that’s the big question: will we allow it?
There’s so much advice out there about keeping our eyes on the present and dreaming big about the future. “Don’t cry over the past,” they say, “forget it.” And it’s true that we shouldn’t allow a difficult past to steal the beauty of the present, but until the past no longer has the power to hurt us, we can never truly leave it behind and move on.
An unresolved past equals a half-lived present (tweet that!)
When looking back is necessary
I knew looking back was necessary in my life when the same old fears and wounds kept coming back to haunt me. When I was flaring up at my mother in anger, being defensive at the mere mention of my father, or fearing losing the people I love for no reason.
And my depression: what was that all about?
Old wounds will keep coming back to haunt us until we deal with them (tweet that!) We can try to outrun them, but sooner or later they catch up. Avoidance doesn’t stop the pain; it only forces that pain to manifest itself in other ways.
Truth is, living in the present moment may be the ideal, but there’s work to do before it’s possible.« Continue »